Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts

8.15.2008

Irony, Sex and American Politics Presents: the Failed 'Sin' Tax...

Is there anything more ironic than American politics? We watched (mostly Republican) congressmen shake heads and wag fingers when slick Willie got blown in the Oval Office by an intern. He would later be impeached for this transgression because trying to take the edge off of arguably the hardest job in the world is the same as attempting to break into the Democratic National Committee headquarters.

The irony comes in the years following Clinton's impeachment when the twenty-four hour news cycle starts unearthing secrets that would make some politicians look like they would be more at home with Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan on the cover of US Weekly.

We had a governor of New Jersey who came out of the closet and then resigned his position... because you
obviously can't be gay and run a state at the same time. Next up, a Republican congressman from Florida (a crusader against child exploitation of course) who offered to give private ethics lessons to teenage boys on AIM. Another Republican congressman who wanted to get his glory hole on in a Minneapolis airport, only the officer in the stall next to him wasn't really feeling that... he was promptly arrested.

This year has unearthed even more sins of the flesh and to the delight of Reagan fans everywhere it involved a representatives from the Democratic party. Bad ass, former New York Attorney General who pushed his prosecutorial authority to the limit to huff, puff and blow the houses down of executives during all of those Accounting scandals, got busted for his penchant for thousand dollar an hour 'escorts.'

And then there's the pretty boy John Edwards who has had the great pleasure of getting the Bill Clinton treatment from the media over recent weeks. I know, he cheated on his wife who may have been battling cancer and it might be his baby but still... cut the guy some slack.

Regardless though, of the the multitude of sins committed by themselves or their peers, our leaders continue to give the American public advice (and by that I mean maintaining archaic laws or enacting newer, even more ridiculous ones) on what we should (abstaining from sex) or shouldn't (watching porn, fucking someone of your gender) be doing. Honestly, at this point that's like a mother telling her children not to do drugs while she's taking bumps of blow and watching Grey's Anatomy.

Offset the harms that opponents claim the [adult] industry creates, including "numerous health, safety and societal problems, including reducing property values in affected neighborhoods and encouraging unsafe sex and aggressive attitudes toward women." Excerpted from here.

That's the intended purpose, according to Democratic Assemblymen Charles Calderon of a recently proposed bill in California. Thankfully, it died in committee but had it been enacted, this 'sin' tax (which already exists for other enjoyable things like alcohol and cigarettes) would have imposed a twenty-five percent excise tax on adult products and productions. It also would have applied to businesses who sell sexually explicit materials (that means newsstands and gas stations that sell skin mags) and websites.

Some opponents of the bill felt, "the government shouldn't be involved with people's sex lives." There's a part of me that guesses all of those shamed politicians who are now out of public office couldn't agree more.

~ Alex Rose

8.14.2008

Public Service Announcement...

Kids... I want to share an important announcement with you courtesy of our exiting president George W. Bush. You, along with myself have been terribly mislead by 'conventional' wisdom, the American Medical Association and even our nation's pregnancy 'experts,' the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Those crazy doctors with their years of newfangled medical research says that pregnancy beings at implantation.

Well, those 'doctors' don't know what the hell they are talking about but our President and his base (the religious right) sure do. That's why, the Department of Health and Human Services released a proposal (technically it was leaked so we're really not supposed to know about it) that allows any federal grant recipients (i.e. federal clinics and health centers) to obstruct a woman's access to contraception.

The importance of this proposal kids is that you and the rest of us misinformed Americans know the truth... that contraceptives like the pill, the patch and that God awful 'emergency' contraceptive those so called intelligent liberals allow to be sold at drug stores is considered 'abortion.' And as you've learned in all of those abstinence only classes you've taken kids... abortion is very, very wrong.

All right... I can't keep a straight face anymore. For more information on this proposal click here.

And for all of you protesters out there, go here where you can sign the petition from MoveOn.org

~ Alex Rose

6.19.2008

Sex, Censored...

It's all fun and games until your daughter comes home pregnant...

Or with the clap...

All right, I'm being overdramatic but this incident in Utah, something that happens far too often in numerous parts of this country makes my blood boil. Now, it should be mentioned, both the STD and pregnancy statistics for teenagers have gone down in recent years.

But... as Sex, etc. (a website dedicated to educating teens about sex) is quick to point out, there is no replacement for a good (emphasis on good) old-fashioned sex ed course.

This brings us back to Utah where a group of parents are pissed because a health teacher at Fort Herriman Middle School gave children information they claim is 'outside the curriculum.'
Now, some lawmakers in the state actually want to make it a crime to step outside the sexual education laws.

What 'edgy' information this teacher, who is a sex ed veteran with more than 30 years of experience, impart on young and impressionable children you ask? She apparently answered the students questions on gay sex, oral sex, and masturbation. Yeah... these parents are up in arms about topics I've heard seventh graders give dissertations on (I'm exaggerating... but not by much).

Look, if this teacher is telling these kids about the finer points of 'shrimping' (I'll talk about that tomorrow) I would understand but at worst she offered a small amount of insight on anal sex. With regards to oral sex and masturbation... nowadays, kids learn about that stuff through simple osmosis.

As 'sex radical' as I am, I don't advocate middle school or even underclass high school kids rolling around with each other but the bottom line is they do. And if they're going to, they should do it intelligently and safely. It's better that they know than engaging in sexual activity in ignorance... cause not every kid can get away with being an idiot like Jamie Lynn Spears.

~ Alex Rose

6.18.2008

I Now Pronounce You... Husband and well... Husband...

Well, it appears this time may be for keeps... perhaps the third time is indeed the charm.

I had another commentary planned for today until I heard about California's Supreme Court ruling to allow same-sex marriages; the second state to do so behind Massachusetts. Notice I said 'California,' making this ruling very different from 2004 when San Francisco overlooked the law and married over 4,000 same-sex couples. These marriages were later overturned by the state.

Normally, this story would make me yawn because after living in one of the slowest moving industrialized countries in the world in terms of important social change for all of my life, (more on that in a second) I never get excited about progress until it actually happens. But this ruling actually has some teeth since unlike Massachusetts (where you have to be a legal resident) California will accept couples regardless of residency and New York will fully honor those unions.

Of course, it isn't all wedding bells and rose pedals. While it was a hot button in the last election cycle, both Obama and McCain have more or less have decide to avoid this issue like the plague though they have both have supported states that take the lead on this issue. Also (like in 2004) voters will decide to a state constitutional amendment that would put same-sex couples right back where they started. Still, those couples have come out in full force in the past few days, including many who were at the top of the courthouse steps in San Francisco during that 'Winter of Love.'

Personally, I think gay people should be as miserable in legal marriage as us straight ones, though I'll admit same-sex marriage would make divorce court judges have to sweat a bit... they won't be able to just screw the husband over like they normally do. Beyond my personal feelings however, the reasoning people give against gay marriage is pretty stupid.

Our current divorce rate is a median 48% and we've consistently made it easier and easier to get a divorce. In Las Vegas, you can get married with the ease of getting a cheeseburger and there are countless reality shows about brides being bitches or how much money people have spent on their ceremonies. I'm sorry, but these things sort of take the sting out of 'sanctity of marriage' stance a bit.

Lastly, there's this list to consider:

The Netherlands
Belgium
Canada
Spain
Britain
South FUCKING Africa
Norway

All countries that allow same-sex marriages. I mean, really... if former apartheid South Africa can get with the program, so can we.

~ Alex Rose

6.12.2008

A Hedonist's Manifesto...

"Ladies and Gentlemen... we are gathered here today to get through this thing called Life..."


The proper hedonist worships the unholy trinity of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.

We throw caution (and occasionally) our underwear to the wind... that is if we're even wearing any.

With that said, we go where the winds of life carry us, leaving our tossed away under things behind.

We eat, drink, live, love, fuck (but never sleep) in the night. Hello darkness... you're one of my dearest friends.

Sunrise > than sunset... unless it's your second sunset in a row without sleep. Now would be a good time to put down the amphetamines.

Full inventory of 'excuse' days is wholly necessary. Because 'sick' and 'weekend bender' are entirely interchangeable.

The proper hedonist always remembers... if you don't ask, you don't get.

We observe rules like a herd of Hindu cows (see "rule." read: suggestion... especially if the authorities aren't around)

For a hedonist, life is lived on the edge; from here, you can see everything you cannot from the center.

Another's pleasure is never judged. Rather, we taste them for ourselves... we may end up enjoying them.

"Never" isn't in the hedonist vocabulary. "No" however (and this is more towards the ladies) is.

We make mistakes... though we prefer to call it "testing our boundaries."

The proper hedonist never experiences any of the following: regret, guilt or shame. Peace, love and honesty on the other hand are experienced often.

The flask or any method of transporting alcohol is an essential accessory for the proper hedonist. Other accessories may include (though most certainly aren't limited to) rolled dollar bills, condoms, handcuffs or a certain diamond shaped blue pill.

This one is simple: give love, get love... give drink, get drink.

A hedonist always remembers personal happiness is paramount; yours, ours and yes... even theirs.

Much respect goes to the virtues of risk, taboo, controversy and skinny dipping.

And finally... when you wake up in the morning with a new 'friend' next to you and your brain pulsating, smile to yourself and remember the world needs us... because no one wants to party with their accountants.

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Hello... once again, my name is Alex Rose and starting this Monday, this space will be used to share tales of me making an ass of myself with utter impunity with the viewing public. Mostly though, I'm going to discuss, in great detail (and from various 'angles') everyone's favorite extracurricular activity. On Thursday's, I would like to do sort of a question of the week segment so any brave soul that would like to be my first guinea pig (I assure you... I mean that in the best way possible) show me what you got here:

Scarlett.Revolver@gmail.com

Though it should go without saying, for those of you super scared about someone you're close to discovering how fucked up you really are, know that my primary interest is getting inside your head... not destroying your life. Hell, you don't even have to tell me your name if you don't want to. Regardless, your secret is safe with me and at this point in my life, I've seen too much (and done much more) to cast any judgments. I'm not your reverend kids... just your neighborhood sex columnist. Now, I'll be spending the next three nights in dark rooms filled with sweaty people rubbing against each other, likely drunk off my ass and making a fool of myself. Enjoy your weekend everyone...

~ Alex Rose